AlternativeHealingPlus - Caring For Babies

For easy reference see table of content at the end of this document. The following advice is based on my many years of experience with newborns/babies (both single and multiples).

1. ADVANTAGES OF Scheduling babies

Putting babies into a regular routine can bring more peace and tranquility into the home.
It can help the baby feel more grounded.
It can help with concentration and give stability in life (both as children and as adults), assuming everything else goes well.
Babies are more calm and relaxed when they are put on a schedule.
It is important to remember that scheduling babies is not only convenient and helpful for the mother, it is also extremely crucial and beneficial for the child, both in the short term and in the long term.
Scheduling provides a clear mind and helps the mind and body work together. This in return can help a child tremendously academically, emotionally and in other areas in a child’s future if everything else goes well in the child’s life.
Scheduling babies makes happy babies!

2. building the security of a baby

Especially because a mother and her children are bonded emotionally, it is important for the mother to do everything possible that can help her to have peace and harmony, because her emotional, spiritual and physical energy is automatically transmitted to her baby and children. Therefore by putting her baby/ies on a daily routine, (including at times of vacations) it can be a start in the tranquility that she needs and wants to give over to her children. The children will then be more likely to be able to receive one of life’s biggest gifts, the gift of inner peace. Bringing up a child is similar to building a house. When building a house, the first part that is built is the foundation. When the foundation is being built, the builder’s focus, is that the foundation be secure in every step of the way. Just as there are tools to ensure the security of a foundation of a house, there are also tools for building the foundation of a baby’s and child’s life. The following are three ways of enhancing a baby’s security:

Baby’s get stability by having their needs met without the need to cry for it.
Scheduling – A Seder Yom/daily routine is important for babies as it is for everyone else.
- Eating – scheduling a baby to eat every three and a half hours gives a chance for the food to digest.
- Sleeping – babies that are put on a schedule, will generally have a more predictable sleep schedule every day. (Although they might need to be kept up sometimes in the evening to assure they will sleep better at night).
Sleep is also very important for the babies’ bones and muscles.
Babies should not be woken up for no reason.
Babies should not be woken up like one would wake up a child. Rather they should be gently lifted in their sleep change their diaper if need be and given a bottle or nursed. If in the meantime one sees that the baby needs to stretch then it is important to give him/her the time.
Attention – See below

3. Giving babies Attention

Many times a baby cries because he is in need of attention. Instead of always holding the baby in one’s arms, it is advisable to sit the baby near where one needs to work, either in an infant seat, a playpen or directly on the floor if it is safe. Here are some ways one can give their baby/ies attention while one is working.

Smile, talk, sing and coo to the baby while one is doing their housework, especially when the baby cries or starts to cry.
At times, copying their crying sounds (not in a sad way) can help babies stop crying and put a smile on their face, even babies as young as two month old.
In a happy joyful voice one can sing and talk to the babies about:
- The weather.
- What you are doing.
- Where their father is and what he is doing.
- Where the siblings are, what they are doing and when they are coming home.
- Sing to them the Alef, Bais/ABC.
- One can sing anything pleasant that they are thinking about.
- Your songs can be made up of two words or they can be made up of many words.
- The songs don’t have to be perfect at all. And one does not need to know how to carry a tune. The point is, to make your baby happy.

4. EATING AND DIGESTION –

(Nursing and bottle fed babies)

Babies need a certain amount of ounces over a 24 hour period, they will get that amount if they eat every hour or every 3½ hours.
If a baby eats every three and a half hours then their stomach has a chance to digest and rest. (Rather than feeding your baby whenever he cries).
Colic is caused by feeding a baby too often (on demand). This discomfort is very similar to when adults experiences a stomach ache when they eat too much or too often.

5. BURPING AND FEEDING

Babies eat a little, burp, then eat some more.
- For bottle fed babies, this feeding pattern continues either until the baby finishes his bottle or the hour is up.
- For nursing babies, the mother should put her baby by the breast until ten minutes before the end of the hour to check if he still wants more.
Sitting up a baby on one’s lap immediately after he pauses in his feeding may help the baby to burp more easily. One can try this and experiment to see what works best for each baby.
Never force a baby to eat more than he wants.
Bottle fed newborn babies, (not premise or babies with special issues) after coming home from the hospital drink about 3- 3½ ounces of formula every 3½ hours.
For bottle fed babies it is advisable to always have an additional ¼ to ½ of an ounce of formula in the bottle from what the baby normally drinks.
When one sees that the baby is drinking the additional ¼/½ ounce more than two or three times in one day, this is a sign that the baby is ready for an approximately one ounce more.
A feeding should not last more than an hour.

6. SCHEDULING BABIES

Below is an example of a baby’s schedule in a 24 hour period. (Note that in the first week or two, the newborn may eat every three hours. If so, after about one or two weeks one should try to extend it to 3 hours and 15 minutes for about a day or two and then to three and a half hours).Babies should be woken up (not literally woken up but taken in ones arms) every three and a half hours to be fed. For example, if the baby had a feeding at 6:30am then the next feeding should be 3½ hours later at 10:00am and so on as written below)

6:30am
10:00am
1:30pm
5:00pm
8:30pm
snack (See below)
Overnight feedings should be given whenever the baby wakes up.

Snack – After the 8:30 pm feeding, one can give the baby a snack before going to sleep. For example, if the baby was fed at 8:30pm and the mother is ready to go to sleep at 10:30-11:00pm, the mother can then feed her baby about ten to fifteen minutes before she is ready to go to sleep. At this snack, she should feed or nurse the baby only the amount he will take until his first burp. Then she can put the baby back down to sleep. This snack may help the baby sleep longer at night and give the mother her needed sleep. The next feeding would be when the baby wakes up by himself.

7. From Feeding on Demand to Scheduling

Feed the baby as much as he will take in the hour.
Feed the baby in another three hours (from when he started the last feeding).
The next feeding one should feed the baby at three hours and fifteen minutes.
The next feeding your baby should be on schedule every three and a half hours.
If a baby cries in between feedings he can either be tired, in need of attention or in need of a diaper change.

8. POINTS TO NOTE

In the morning, the mother can wake up her baby to feed him at a convenient time that does not conflict with the older children’s morning schedule. If the mother is pretty sure the baby will wake up after the morning mad rush is finished, it would be best to let the baby sleep.
There are some babies who automatically eat every 4 hours and sleep well at night. Of course this is a great schedule and should not be changed.
There is usually no need to literally wake up a baby to feed. Rather, one can simply cuddle him while nursing or bottle feeding.
Changing a baby’s diaper in the middle of a feeding, rather than waiting to the end may ensure he will not be woken up at the end of his meal if he had fallen asleep.

9. At three months

A baby who is kept on a schedule, such as the one above, will usually sleeps through the night .
When the baby starts sleeping through the night, if the last feeding was at 8:30pm the next feeding should be at 8:30am.
- The baby will not necessarily sleep for all those 12 hours.
- The baby can be kept with the family until he gets tired.
- Once one notices a regular time at which the baby gets tired, one may then set a bedtime routine.

10. At four months

Some bottle fed babies start eating solids during the fourth month. If one sees that a baby is not too interested in eating solids at this point, it is best to wait and try every so often until one sees that the baby is ready to eat solids. In this way one avoids getting frustrated or forcing the baby to eat.
If a bottle fed baby is eating 8 ounces in every meal and is consistently waking up in the middle of the night, this may be a sign that he is ready to eat solids during the day. One can also put baby cereal in the last feeding.
Note that if one adds baby cereal to the baby’s formula bottle, one must check that the hole of the bottle nipple is big enough for the formula to go through but not too big so that the formula should not come out too fast.

11. After about six months

(nursing mothers) Some nursing mothers prefer to nurse their babies as long as possible without feeding them solid foods. However, in this case a baby that is already sleeping through the night might start waking up to nurse. Therefore one may choose to nurse also at night instead of supplementing the baby’s diet with solids. If a mother chooses to nurse at night as well, she must be aware when her baby is showing signs again of needing solids.

a. Signs That A Baby Might Be Ready For Solids.

He wakes up at night and wants to eat. (A mother may choose to nurse at night instead of supplementing the baby with solids. When the baby starts showing signs of hunger again, one would need to feed him solids ). However one must not confuse the difference between hunger and teething which by nursing the baby it might just be comforting him. The mother should try to be aware and treat the pain by holding onto his two thumbs without pressing or putting any pressure. See article on ‘Touch Healing’ in the section on ‘Teeth’.
Looks at others anxiously when they are eating.
Points to other people’s food while opening and closing his/her palms.
Cries more often then usual. However this can also be a sign of teething, unless he cries when he sees food.
Wants to nurse more often than every 3½ hours. (Babies should not be nursed less than every three and a half hours).

Once when I was visiting with a client at her house, her other children were sitting around the table eating while her nine months old baby was in the high chair looking at the others anxiously with out stretched arms. I turned to my client and told her that this is a sign that he is not getting enough from the nursing alone, although he was also nursing in the middle of the night. At this point the mother realized and started to feed the baby solid foods.

12. Q&A – Nursing VERSUS bottle feeding

Q: Does it matter to the babies if they are nursed or bottle fed?

A: While many babies do not show a preference for one over the other, some do. In my many years of working with babies I have had newborn babies who would turn to me to nurse when I would offer them a bottle, while his twin would rather feed from a bottle than nurse.

Q: What should be done in a case with multiples, where one prefers to nurse and the other would rather have a bottle?

A: (This scenario is relevant to those who change off nursing each twin every other feeding and every other feeding one gets a bottle. Some mothers do this when they feel that they do not have enough milk for both babies). A: A newborn baby who turns his head towards his mother (or caregiver) to nurse when given a bottle is showing a strong need and desire to nurse. Therefore, a mother should make every effort to accommodate this baby. In contrast, a twin who really shows signs that he absolutely does not care to be nursed should not be nursed if it takes away from the twin who strongly shows a desire to nurse.

3. Q: What should be done if nursing a newborn baby does not seem to be going well?

A: If a mother is trying to nurse her newborn baby and sees that whatever she tries is not working, then giving a bottle is more important than fussing with the baby. Fussing with a baby will cause unneeded tension and confusion to the mother, baby and the other children. At this point, peace and harmony is more crucial and important to have in the house.

Q: My baby always falls asleep on me during nursing

A: Babies can eat in their sleep. If the baby fell asleep and is no longer nursing, this can mean that he has to burp. Therefore as soon as one notices that the baby has stopped nursing (or fell asleep), one should pick him up and burp him, and then continue nursing. (Note that some babies need a little break before continuing to nurse). If a baby is not in an urgent need of a diaper change before a feeding, it is advisable to change the baby’s diaper in the middle of the feeding, rather than in the beginning or at the end of the feeding. This will usually wake up a baby who cannot eat because he is in a deep sleep.

13. Reflux babies

a. Signs and Symptoms of Reflux

There are three types of reflux as described below. Some babies have the reflux that is described below in #1 which is common but less common than #2. #2 is the most common. #3 is also less common than#2. Read carefully to know how to handle each one. Healing should be done right after each feeding. See below for more details.

Refuses to eat more than five or ten minutes or gags when offered more. These baby’s don’t usually throw up.
- The baby will only eat about 1½ ounces or nurse for only the first five to ten minutes and refuses or gags when offered any more throughout the hour feeding.
- Because these babies eat less at each feeding, it is advisable to see if the baby will eat every 2½ or 3 hours rather than every 3½ hours. One should see which schedule works best and stay with it, for consistency and seder yom/daily routine is very important. At night it is best to let the baby sleep until he wakes up by himself.
- These babies need to be watched while being fed so that one can take the bottle out of the baby’s mouth the moment he shows signs that he is finished.
- These babies should always be propped in their infant seat, including at night. The baby can be laid flat with full supervision while seeing the baby’s face at all times. Propping up a mattress causes a baby to fall in different directions and therefore this is not advisable. Note that adults who have this problem sleep in a recliner or sleep in a reclined position.
- ‘Touch Healing’ should be done before and after feedings. (See below ‘Touch Healing For Reflux’).

Excessive spitting up

These babies eat a full feeding and are put on a regular schedule like all other babies.
‘Touch Healing’ should be done right after each feeding. (See below ‘Touch Healing For Reflux’).

Throwing up

These babies will usually eat a full feeding but need to be watched every moment during nursing or bottle feeding. The throwing up often occurs when we do not take the bottle out of the baby’s mouth (or move the baby away from the nipple) the second he shows signs that he is finished.
‘Touch Healing’ should be done before and after feedings. (See below ‘Touch Healing For Reflux).

b. Touch Healing For Reflux

Touch healing can be very effective and healing. however it does not always work for everyone. In order to decide whether it is useful or harmful it is highly recommended to start very slowly. Therefore when working on one’s baby do not continue If one does not see improvement after one or two sessions. Take care not to press or to put any pressure when working on the hands, feet or any other place on the body.

The following is simply an excerpt of another article titled “Touch Healing” It is recommended to the reader to read this article for a broader understanding of this therapy.

Touch healing can be very helpful and beneficial for reflux babies. It can open up blockages, increasing the blood flow to the area. This is due to the warmth released by our hands.
What to do

For the first three introductory days, one should first hold on to the baby’s wrist and socket of the thumb for a ½ a minutes on each hand, about every hour or at least four or five times a day for the first day. The second and third day one can do it for one minute instead of a ½ a minute.
After the three Introductory days, put your hand on the baby’s chest, (in the middle).
Lift your hand in the air about ½-1 inch above the baby’s chest. (It does not have to be exact).
In a slow motion, move your hand up and down the baby’s chest (in the air) for not more than one minute before and/or after each feeding. (As mentioned above by the end of each, ‘Sign And Symptoms’). Note; when moving your hand up and down the baby’s chest, do not go above the collar bone.
After three days of working on the baby for one minute, one can work on the baby for two minutes at a time. After two weeks, If one sees results, one may do this therapy up to five minutes at a time. Do not exceed the amounts mentioned.
If one does not see improvement from the beginning do not continue with this therapy.
This exercise can be performed in a sitting or lying position without waking up the baby.

14. Stomach issues

A question that is often asked is “How to tell if a baby is hungry or something else is bothering him when he cries?” Once a baby is put on a schedule and is given the chance to eat or nurse what he needs in the hour, we can rule out hunger as being the cause of his distress. One can now assume he is either tired, in need of attention or has some stomach issues. In general it is obvious and with time and paying attention, a mother can learn to tell the difference.

a. Touch Healing To Release Stomach issues

One can try one of the two listed below

Hold on to the bottom of the baby’s foot for one minute.
Place a hand over the stomach area for one minutes at a time.

If the baby does not relax after three to five minutes, repeat for another minute. Continue in this manner until the baby feels better.

15. Multiples

See above on ‘Scheduling Babies’.

a. Day Time

Multiples should be fed together at the same time during the day.
The babies should be woken up every three and a half hours to be fed. Babies do not need to be literally woken up to be fed although they might wake up anyway. One needs to simply pick them up and feed them.

b. Night Time

Night hours start when the mother or caregiver goes to sleep.
If one wants, one can give the babies a snack before one goes to sleep. (See above ‘Scheduling Babies’)
Up to 6 weeks old, when one of the multiples wakes up, feed the others at the same time.
By 6-8 weeks, some babies have a sleeping stretch of about six to eight hours. Below is a guideline to help us know when the baby/ies are ready for a longer stretch.

c. When To Wake Up A Multiple At Night After 6-8 Weeks Old

Any multiple that is still waking up at night (that is, he woke up himself during the previous four or five* nights after 3½-5 hours from the last feeding) should be fed when one of the other multiples wakes up.

d. When Not To Wake Up A Multiple At Night After 6-8 Weeks Old

A multiple should not be woken up if he has not woken up by himself after 3½-5 hours from the last feeding, the last previous four or five* nights. This can give you an idea how long he can sleep for and see if he can have at least a six hour stretch. *It can be three nights too, one should listen to their instincts.

e. Getting The Multiples Back On Schedule

If the multiples schedules do not coincide due to feeding and sleeping patterns overnight, In the morning one can gradually, through about 1 or 2 feedings get the babies back on the same schedule by feeding one 15 minutes earlier and the other 15 minutes later.
For example; if one or two are due to eat at 8:30am and another one is due to eat at 9:00am, try to delay the 8:30 till 8:45 and feed the baby who is due to eat at 9:00 at 8:45-8:50 instead.
If there is an hour difference between the multiples eating schedule, that is, one is due to eat at 7:00am and another one at 8:00am, try to stall the first one till 7:15 and the second one feed ten-fifteen minutes earlier. At the next feeding try to stall the first one and the second one feed ten-fifteen minutes earlier. Ideally by the third feeding, the multiples should be on the same schedule again.

16. Seder Yom with babies around

Once the baby is on a schedule, one will notice how much calmer the baby will be and how much easier it will be to get work done around the house.
It is advisable to have the baby/babies in the same room that one is working in, unless they are sleeping.
Babies can be put into an infant seat and be taken along when going from room to room.
If a baby cries when one is trying to do their housework, one can talk and sing to him. (See above “Giving Babies Attention”).
If the baby cries when the mother goes out of the room for a few seconds, consider the following:
- If a baby is safely on the floor, infant seat or playpen and cries when the mother goes out of the room for a few seconds, the mother can talk to the baby the whole time while doing her quick errand around the house. One can say or sing to the baby “mommy is coming right back” then when the mother comes back she says or sings with a smile and in a happy tone of voice, “Mommy is back” and whatever other words one wants to add. After a few times using this method, one should see an improvement.

17. Disciplining

The most important thing to note about discipline and babies is that babies should not be disciplined at all. Having said that, here are some specific points to help one to interact best with one’s baby. A few points on handling toddlers have also been included.

a. Things To Do And Consider:

A tantrum is when a child cries, screams, kicks and cannot be appeased in any way.
A baby or toddler who is crying, screaming and kicking when being teased or mistreated by an adult, who is deliberately taking a bottle or something else just to see his reaction, is not having a tantrum.
A baby that will stop crying when given a bottle, a toy or attention is not having a tantrum.
Always try to be as loving and caring as possible when teaching right from wrong.
A Babies crying should be seen as a way of communicating their needs rather than having a tantrum.
When a baby cries, search for what they need and help them.
When taking away something from a baby’s hand always have something ready to give instead.
If a baby goes in a direction that is not appropriate for him, always move the baby away without using the word “no”. Distract him by giving him something else to-do.

An inappropriate place might be the;

Garbage
Stairs
Open window
Bathroom/toilet bowl

It is important to acknowledge and accept the stages a baby or toddler goes through and work with them, rather than against them.
“Disciplining” a baby or toddler will not assure good behavior as children or adults. Rather it brings pain and anger into the baby/child that can last a lifetime.
Learn about the normal stages of development that a baby and toddler go through. For instance, one can read books and check out videos or websites on the internet that will help build a child in every way, emotionally, academically and socially.
Any person, book or video who tells you to use the word “no” to a baby or toddler, to easily put them into time out and demand an apology from them, is not leading you in the right direction.
Toddlers will get into things. It is up to us to avoid them getting into “trouble” by being alert as possible.
A house with babies and toddlers should be as child proof as possible.
With children around it is advisable not to have pretty or breakable stuff around.
Arguing with babies, toddlers and even older children causes them to be argumentative, aggressive and in unnecessary pain.
Blaming, name calling, and cursing is counterproductive in teaching right from wrong.

b. Things To Avoid

Babies should absolutely not be scolded in any way.
Never deliberately scare a baby or any age child in any way.
Do not take any pleasure in children’s pain.
Do not make a baby/child cry because you think it is cute.
Do not make a big deal out of a baby’s or a toddlers “wrong doing.”
Do not demand an apology from a baby or a toddler.
Never argue with a baby or a toddler even for fun.
Do not wait to see if your baby or toddler will get into trouble so that you can scold him and punish him.
Do not take a bottle or toy from a baby or toddler just to make him cry or to see him get into a “tantrum”.

18. Stories of experiences

A set of triplets were having their long stretch between feeds during the day and were waking up more at night. I instructed the mother to wake them up every three and a half hours during the day to feed them. By six to eight weeks, one started to have a stretch of six to eight hours at night and soon after another one of the triplets followed suit.
A one and a half months old baby had a severe reflux that affected her from eating a full feeding. The baby would nurse for five or ten minutes at a feeding, (she would gag and refuse any more the whole hour and feedings last an hour) She also had crying spells for hours at night. I instructed the mother to put the baby on a schedule every three hours. I also had the mother put her hand under the baby’s foot at the start of the baby’s crying spells which helped the baby to calm down.

Two weeks later, the mothers reported, “you would not believe how happy my baby is. She is such a happy baby.”

One set of twins were approximately four weeks old when I met them. As usual I put them on a schedule without knowing their situation. After a few weeks, the grandmother was pleasantly surprised and commented how much calmer the babies were.
Years after I helped one customer with this particular issue, she reported to me her husband’s daily amazement and appreciation for a complete turnabout in their daily life. This is what she said:

“You can’t imagine how thankful my husband is, every day he used to come home to a crying baby or toddler and always have a crying baby in his hand. Now, every day he wakes up and thanks Hashem/G-d of the Universe”. I met her when her middle child now, was only two years old. This toddler would have terrible tantrums, kicking and screaming not only at home but also in stores. “You don’t understand”, she would say, “so many times I had to leave the stores because it was uncontrollable.” At first the mother did not believe that anything I told her to do would help but then when she had her next baby she tried my method of scheduling her baby and continued with each baby that came after.

I wish everyone good luck in building a home of genuine love, peace and harmony

TABLE OF CONTENT

ADVANTAGES OF SCHEDULING BABIES
BUILDING THESECURITY OF A BABY
GIVING BABIES ATTENTION
EATING AND DIGESTION
BURPING AND FEEDING
SCHEDULING BABIES
FROM FEEDING ON DEMAND TO SCHEDULING
POINTS TO NOTE
AT THREE MONTHS
AT FOUR MONTHS
AFTER ABOUT SIX MONTHS
1. Signs That A Baby Might Be Ready For Solids
Q&A – NURSING VERSUS BOTTLE FEELING
REFLUX BABIES
1. Signs And Symptoms Of Reflux
2. Touch Healing For Reflux
STOMACH ISSUES
1. Touch Healing To Release Stomach Issues

MULTIPLES
1. Daytime
2. Night Time
3. When To Wake Up A Multiple At Night After 6-8 Weeks Old
4. When Not To Wake Up A Multiple At Night After 6-8 Weeks Old
5. Getting The Multiples Back On Schedule
SEDER YOM/DAILY ROUTINE WITH BABIES AROUND
DISCIPLINING
1. Things To Do And Consider
2. Things To Avoid
STORIES OF EXPERIENCES

Parenting And Education

Caring For Babies

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